Before Choosing a University, Choose Yourself

As an educational guidance expert helping teenagers, university graduates, and professionals of all ages decide on their future academic path, I always start with discovery sessions. Before we even talk about university names or countries, we focus on something more fundamental: which field of study and program specialization truly fits them. Only then does it make sense to draft a list of universities. These sessions are designed to understand strengths, motivations, interests and, ultimately, to reach a very direct question:

What do you want to do in life? 

This is one of the hardest questions we face. Some people search for the answer their whole life. Others don’t even dare to ask it. It demands a lot from each future student who works with me: collaboration, honesty, vulnerability, and the patience to go through different stages, tests, questionnaires and exercises just to get closer to an answer.

In other words: before choosing a university, we first choose you.

Discovering Strengths and “Superpowers”

To help applicants make this inner work more concrete, I often use tools like the CliftonStrengths 34 assessment. I like to call the results “superpowers,” because the point is to highlight what is already strong and unique in each person. We identify their top strengths, then we spend time becoming truly aware of them: what do these strengths actually look like in daily life? Which activities align with them? What kind of work, projects or roles naturally fit these strengths? When a prospective student starts to see their own patterns clearly, their perception of themselves begins to shift. There is less self-criticism and more understanding: “Ah, this is why I enjoy this and struggle with that.” From there, we design activities and paths that use these strengths more often instead of fighting against them.

Impact and Passion Projects

Often, we build what I call an impact or passion project – a concrete project designed around something the future student or young professional cares about and that uses their strengths intentionally. We define one clear objective and frame it with the SMART method: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (Doran, 1981). By working on this project, they are not only achieving something external; they are also training their brain. They learn to think in terms of possibilities instead of limitations, to take small steps instead of being paralyzed by the size of their dream, to observe themselves in action. Every small success builds self-confidence. Motivation becomes less about pushing themselves and more about being pulled forward by a clear destination.

Sometimes when I work with teenagers and high school graduates, I meet curiosity and eagerness to explore. Sometimes, I meet a wall – very solid at first, but not impossible to move with the right questions, time and support. Most of us are not used to asking ourselves questions like:

What do I actually like? What truly excites me? What are my top skills that I can leverage and develop? Which achievements am I most proud of? In which moments did I feel completely “in the right place”? Where do I see myself in five years? What are my dreams?

Growth Mindset: Helping the Brain Accept the Stretch

For many teenagers, university graduates, and professionals of all ages, this type of reflection feels uncomfortable, “too abstract,” almost unnecessary in a world that constantly pushes us to be busy and efficient. Our brain isn’t used to this kind of effort at the beginning, so it resists. This is exactly where the idea of a growth mindset comes in – the belief, described by psychologist Carol Dweck from Stanford University, that our abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort, good strategies and feedback (Dweck, 2006; Yeager & Dweck, 2012). When we see our thinking as something that can grow, we are more willing to face challenging questions instead of avoiding them. Research on growth mindset shows that students who believe they can develop their abilities are more likely to embrace challenges, persist after setbacks and achieve better academic outcomes over time.

Vision Board: Turning Inner Goals Into Images

At this stage, I often introduce a simple vision board exercise: we write and draw their goals, images of the life they want, key words, dreams and values. Many highly successful students and professionals use some form of visualization or written goal-setting, and research supports this approach. A goal-setting study by Gail Matthews from the Dominican University of California found that individuals who wrote down their goals and shared updates with a friend were significantly more likely to achieve them – in some summaries of her work, this increase is estimated at around 40–42% (Matthews, 2007). Other research shows that elaborating and reflecting on personal goals can improve academic performance (Morisano et al., 2010), and that mentally simulating the process of working towards a goal can enhance motivation and results (Pham & Taylor, 1999). When we keep coming back to these questions and to this visual “map” of what we want, something important happens: the resistance softens, and the mind starts offering small answers—images, words, memories, desires. These are the first pieces of the puzzle of who we are and what we want.

Only after this inner work does it truly make sense to look at programs, faculties and universities. Otherwise, we risk choosing a logo, not a life direction.

Fear Voice or Truth Voice?

Then comes the second element: the two voices we all have inside when we think about our future. Graham Weaver, a Princeton and Stanford graduate and founder of Alpine Investors, describes this beautifully: we all carry within us two inner voices. The first is the voice of fear and survival. It’s loud, anxious, always ready to warn you about everything that might go wrong. It feeds on doubt, comparison and the need to stay “safe.” When a future student lets this voice lead, they often end up choosing what looks acceptable to everyone else, but feels too small or misaligned inside. In the context of studies, it might sound like: “Choose the ‘safe’ thing everyone approves of, don’t risk disappointment.”

The second voice is much quieter: the voice of intuition, truth, or inner wisdom. It feels more like a calm gut feeling, a quiet certainty, a sense of “this is right for me.” It reflects our true self, our dreams, what genuinely energizes us. It pulls us towards growth, contribution, courage – towards living, as Weaver says, “at full power.” In academic choices, this voice might say: “This field really fascinates you. You light up when you talk about it. Try.”

The real challenge in front of each of us is very simple and at the same time very deep: which voice are we going to listen to? To live truthfully, we have to stop letting the fear voice sit in the driver’s seat. Instead, we need to learn how to trust that quieter intuition voice. This doesn’t mean we never feel fear again, but it means we don’t let fear decide.

The intuition voice can be hard to hear at first. It is hidden in what we already do and feel: in the activities where a prospective student loses track of time, in the subjects they love talking about, in the moments when they feel most alive and most themselves. Our task is to notice these things, to name them and to ask: When do I feel most “me”? That’s usually where the true voice is speaking – and where our most aligned academic choices live.

One powerful way to bring this voice to the surface is to imagine a life without limits. I often ask future students I work with: If everything were possible—no limits, no financial constraints, nothing holding you back—what would you do and where would you be?

When they allow themselves to think freely, without immediately cutting their ideas with “yes, but…”, they begin to see images and scenarios that resonate deeply with them. Once they can see them clearly, we can start building a path towards them. If they never start taking even a small step in that direction, it is usually a sign that the fear voice is stronger. Then the work is not to silence fear completely, but to learn how to overcome it gradually, so it no longer rules their decisions.

We shouldn’t stop because we are afraid. In fact, when something scares us and excites us at the same time, it often means we are close to something important. If it scares you, it may already be your greatness – the question becomes:

how can you refuse to turn away from it?

Choosing Yourself First

In the end, everything I described—daring to ask ourselves honest questions, taking the time to get to know our strengths, and turning our ideas into small, structured projects—is about learning to live more consciously. The two inner voices are part of this, but they are not the whole story. Before a teenager, a university graduate or a career changer can even decide which voice to follow, they first need to know who is deciding. That happens when they get curious about themselves, when they stop living on “automatic pilot” and start exploring what they truly like, what energizes them and what they are naturally good at.

The more future students train themselves to ask real questions, the clearer their inner landscape becomes. Questions like What gives me energy instead of draining it? When do I feel most myself? What kind of problems do I love solving? What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail? slowly open doors inside them. With time, they begin to see patterns: the subjects they always come back to, the situations where they feel in the right place, the strengths that show up again and again. This self-knowledge is not something we “have” once and for all; it grows each time we try something new, reflect, and adjust.

From there, we can start designing small experiments: a passion project, a new course, volunteering, a side activity that feels aligned with their strengths. These concrete steps are not just about achieving goals on paper; they are a way of saying in action: “I take myself seriously enough to try.” With every small step, future students and young professionals send a message to their brain that they are capable of learning, evolving and creating their own path. Little by little, this builds confidence and makes the intuition voice easier to hear and to trust.

The fear voice will always be part of us, trying to keep us safe. The intuition voice, the one that reflects who we really are and what we are capable of, is always there too. But it is through questioning, self-discovery and courageous action that we adjust the volume of each. When applicants know themselves better, they don’t just ask “Which voice am I listening to?”—they also ask: “Who am I becoming with each choice I make?”

So before choosing a university, choose yourself.

And I leave you with an invitation: What is one honest question you could ask yourself today, and one small action you could take this week, that would bring you closer to the person you know, deep down, you are meant to become – and to the academic path that truly fits you?

References

• Doran, G. T. (1981). There’s a S.M.A.R.T. way to write management’s goals and objectives. Management Review, 70(11), 35–36.

• Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Random House.

• Yeager, D. S., & Dweck, C. S. (2012). Mindsets that promote resilience: When students believe that personal characteristics can be developed. Educational Psychologist, 47(4), 302–314.

• Matthews, G. (2007). The Impact of Commitment, Accountability, and Written Goals on Goal Achievement. Dominican University of California.

• Morisano, D., Hirsh, J. B., Peterson, J. B., Pihl, R. O., & Shore, B. M. (2010). Setting, elaborating, and reflecting on personal goals improves academic performance. Journal of Applied Psychology, 95(2), 255–264.

• Pham, L. B., & Taylor, S. E. (1999). From thought to action: Effects of process-versus outcome-based mental simulations on performance. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 25(2), 250–260.

• Weaver, G. – Founder & Managing Partner, Alpine Investors; Lecturer at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Concept of the “two inner voices” in his talks and interviews.